Im SoRry

to mum & dad ..
mom. , there's so much things u sacrifice for me since the dae i saw dis world...
i dont know how to pay u back mom.. && i noe i'll never have the time to pay u back ....
all i wanted is to see u happy mom... dats the thing i wanna see. seeing u smile everydae makes me happy ... really happy....
i dont wanna see u cry... i regretted the moment when i saw u crying profusely in front of me ..
just because of one stupid mistake dat i did .


u really make ma life worthwhile mom..
i cant even show u how much i love ... its too deep . deeper than the sea....
depper than anythingg .
i just love u mom & dad

HmM . A nEw Fren ???????????????????????

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH !!!

wuhuu !
broke up wif barney at last .
on our first aniiversary .. umm, quite sad . but wad to do .
he's just to annoyingg .
ARGGH !!!



dedicated song to akid... Rindu from Fuad Rahman

WOOOW !!!!!

Mengapa ketika, bila ku sendirian..
Terkenang kenangan waktu kita bersama...
Pilu rasa hati, bila engkau tiada di sisi...

Indah waktu itu, bila engkau di sampingku...
Seakan dunia milik kita berdua...
Kini kau tiada, hanya aku dilamun rindu...

*Mengapa kau menghilangkan dirimu...
Katakanlah salahku...
Sehingga kau hancurkan hidupku...

Berikanlah kesempatan untuk aku menjelaskan...
Agar engkau kan fahami apa yang telah terjadi...
Tak perlu kau meragui ketulusan hati ini...
Kerna aku disalah mengerti...

Tidak pernah pun terlintas untuk aku menduakan...
Kerna ku telah berjanji cinta kita kan abadi...
Tak perlu kau mengkhianati cinta yang luhur dan murni...
!@#$%^&*()??????????????????????????????????

WHY ??? HOW ?? WHAT ???

shouLd i believe every little things dat she said bout my guy ....????????
OR SHE'S JUST JEALOUS OF MIE ..
fuck !
i noe barney ....
i noe who he ....
why does everyone says the same thing !
God !
show me the rite wae.. i lerve u alot ...
why u do dis such a thing .

I DONT UNDERSTAND... =(

Hey... i dont know whats happening to dis worLd... it's becoming wiLder and wiLder.. and i cant stand it anymore.. here's the story...

one of mai 'pakcik' (so called), [my mom's side] received his CPF and he have to seLL his house..
and for that, he becomes rich, richer than us, his own cousins.. and we didn't ask anything from him at aLL ... and so, he's becoming more and more sombong to us..
its okay bout that...
but the most that i cannot take it is dat he ask my nephew, 'when is ur grandpa's gonna die?'
WHAT THE FUCK !
God... please.... save me.... and save that man....
the whoLe famiLy knows bout it.. but we stiLL be patient with hym... as we know that God's with us...


DAES PASSED...
he's stiLL with his attiude... but this time.. DIE MELAMPAU..!!
my grandma had asked him to cure for her right hand's dat in pain... know wat my fucking 'pakcik' said..?
'u want dis to be cured? suck my cock and take the sperm'
it hurts me BADLY when i knew about the news.. my grandma is 70+ years oLd... how couLd he have a heart to say those kind of things to her... ??
Ya Allah... ampuniLah dosa pakcik ku...
pity ma nenek and atok....
Tuhan saje yg tahu baLasannye..
Aameen...

MISSING HYM

HUbby....
Yeah i miiss euu ...
hees .
hey guess what , ive made a song .. dedicated just for hym .. going for a recording in a studio next two weeks ..
i've not compLete the song yet.... maybe in threee weeks time from now ...
yeah ...
cant wait to sing it infront of hym..
haha .
take care everybody cos iLa cares for eu .
haah .
muuaaah !

From the first time i know u, i never thought that i would be yours one day..
I always judge you from your looks...
i didnt even judge your heart..
i said to myseLf...
'' you're a bad guy for me.. so it's time for me to pLay around with your feeLings..''
and so i did ...
Day after day we keep in touch, i don't know why i've missed you.. is that i sign of love??
i didnt admit it at first.. i got a job to do..
and so, i played timer..
without reaLising that u really lerve and care for mie with all of your heart.. i did as much as i can so that u trust me.. and i WON !! you trust me aLot.. you thougth that i Loved you too.. but actuaLLy i didn't.. and so, we met.. for the first time.. you are not as ugLy as i thought.. hmm.. my heart speaks.. to pLay around with your feelings.. that's my job... okay.. i canceLLed our meeting that day, just to accompLish my job.. i went out with another guy, same pLace to where you were at.. Lucky me, i saw you... you were speechless watching me hoLding hands with him.. AND YOU WALKED AWAY...
The scenario keeps on pLaying in my mind.. Watching your sad face that evening reaLLy make the pityness feeLing born in my bitch heart... how crueL am i to do this fucking thing to a person that reaLLy Lerve me deepLy..... i admit, that i loved you.. but i'm not sure how much i loved you.. yet i know, i care for you... we're separating now.. i vaLued how much i missed you.. your voice.. your smiLes... your touch.. your kisses..
i cried hard... i dont know what to do.. my apoLigise doesnt seemed to work at all.. i want that we get back together... and i'll promise to love you right.. stiLL, you didn't forgive me.. i didn't give up.. i try my hard so that you'll come back in my arms..
and yes... you've came back..

NOW THAT I GOT YOU BACK, NEVER WILL I HURT YOU..
NEVER WILL I LIED TO YOU...
NEVER WILL I MAKE YOU CRY...
&& NEVER WILL I STOP LOVING YOU..............
because you're the onLy one for me, and you're the onLy one stays in my heart..
you make my Life better, and so, i Loved you..
My LoVE for you are deep.. deeper than the sea.. the oceans...
NEVER LET YOU GO... even for a day...
and if ever i really have to let you go one day..
i want you to know that you wiLL never be repLace, aLways in my heart.. aLways i Love..
and aLways i miss..

I LOVE HYM ALOT

huhu .
=)
happy happy happy !!!!!
Stead wif hym on 300908.. broke of two weeks after that.. break cume sebab die da tak tahan nan prangai aku... WHAT THE HELL ..
i was hurt .... i begged hym Like heLl .. CRYING profuseLy infront of hym and hope he wiLL take me back ..
but i FAILED....
but i didnt give up ..
i did everything dat i couLd.. cos i reaLLy cant Live without hym by mai side ..
at Last.. the third day dat we've broke .. he accepted me back.. i was so FUCKING happy..
tears dropped.. heart's jumping.. feeL like hugging hym tight .
errm !! haha . i've promised hym dat i''LL never hurt hym again and i wiLL Love hym as much as i couLd..
PAPA.. MAMA REALLY LERVES EUU ..
MUUUAAAHHHH !!!!!

IS IT TIMER ??????

hmm . i just found a new guy , after AFAD left mie . life has to go on . why shuld i wait for hym when i've oready knew hys DYING SOON !!!!
man . wad the hell am i saying .
ARGH !
WAD A STRESSFUL DAE.

TO ABANG WAN....

if you're reading dis bro , just wanna tell eu dat i'm okay and i'm alright ..
cume adeq Lom mamam agik ..
no mood ..
Abg eu no need to worry bout mie ..
i promise i'll take care of myseLf okehy ..
thanks for ur concern bro ..
Luv eu abang! muah !

haiiishh ..
feel like killing myself ..
tapi buat pe nk bunoh diri ..
nuthing will change ..
the last thing i wanna sae to eu afad,,
is dat ..
haiish ..
nvm..
if i said it here , as if u're reading only ..
i just pray the very best for eu afad ..

AAAARGGGGGGGH !!!!!!
God why eu did dis to miee ...
i cant leave dis wae ....
and now he's leaving me ,, to hys sentence...
for three long years God.... how am i supposed to bear wif mai misses for hym???
without hearing hys voice ..
without seeing hys face ..
all i could do is write letter to hym .
dis year's raye's didnt mean anything to me..
i hope to celebrate wif hym are ALL GONE !!!!
if only someone really understands my feelings rite now .
i should have called hym yesterdae night..
and talk to hym for the last time.
hearing hys voice for the last FUCKING time..
and now he's far away from mie ..
i will wait for hym .. AND DATS FOR SURE !!!
i regret it so damn much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH !!! AFAD !!!!!
kalau aku rindu kau mcm ane ??!!!!!
plllssss !!
i wanna DIE !!!
hubby dont make mie crying .............................
hey people ..
see eu in heaven ..
gudbye ,

AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHH !!!!!

bebs . i dont know what on earth am i doing .
guess what ? i've asked Adam to let mie go, and he did (with a heavy heart).
he keeps on falling sick when i left hym . he dont want to eat .
he keeps on thinking bout dying .
i'm so fucking worried bout hym .
the only thing dat can make hym secured & happy is to be wif hym back .
well i cant . i stiLL got Fad to settLe .
haiish . i just hope he'LL find another gerl dat can make hym happy .

WAH !!!!
i played timer seii . and it was onLy yesterday . i Love the first guy more than the second guy . Let's describe bout hym a little bit .

Hys name , Adam Farid . Working as a what i don't know . hys camp is at CCK . anytime i wanna meet hym, i can . coz he's always free . he's caring , fun , REALLY EXTREMELY understanding , he really lerves me alot that he don't even have the hart to scold me for what i did to hym yesterday noon . ( aku paitaow dierk )
i dunnoe if he's sincere wif mie not, but i think yupp !
i just give hym A chance . just to know hym better .

A quick brief on my first guy...

Hys name , Fad . currently in NS at Jalan Bahar . next two weeks finish . wow !!
hmm . by just listening to hys voice and the way he says to me , i can say that he's FUCKING SINCERE with mie . he dont care how the hell i look . he's very humble in person . never talk dirty things with mie . ( i Liike !!! )
he's kind, understanding && more !!

So , which one shouLd i leave ??
Fad or Farid ??

I AM CRUEL !!!!!

haiiiss ..

i'm so cruel towards hym . seriously . he really lerve me alot . he really care for mie . but my intension to be with hym is just to busterd on hym . how could i do that ?!
why never i think ?! i ask hym to let mie go . he don't want . i beg hym , he refuse to . i don't know what else to do to make hym hate me . i'm not suitable for hym . yet, he dont understand !
I'VE TRIED TO EXPLAIN . he dont wanna hear . argh !! i'm all stressed up !

i just want hym to let mie go && find other girl that really love hym . not like ME !!
he's just too good for mie .
God , show me the right way . =(

this blog really make me go mad..!!!!!

OH MAII GOD..!!!

II'M CHATTIING WIITH A RETARDED GUY..!!

ARGH !!! HELP MIIEEE..!!

AHAHAHAHA..